10 Reasons Why Outside Kiddy Pool Time Should Not Double As Bath Time
You know when you have a great idea and you are all like, “Why doesn’t EVERYONE do this? I am a GENIUS…” and then you do it… and you realize exactly why everyone doesn’t do this? Yeah… had one of those the other night. So… as an F.Y.I. (or for personal amusement) may I present my:
2. Grass Clippings. Dried grass clippings. Everywhere. The kids are fine while in the pool… but then the little albino demon-weasels get OUT of the pool to careen around the yard and eventually bust it. Have you ever tried to scrape grass clippings out of a 4-year-old’s armpits? No? Well… lucky you.
3. Neighbors. One of our neighbors is a Psychology Professor at a local college. He walked out on his deck that night, took one look at the sudsy, muddy mayhem, turned back around, and went inside. Freud THAT, prof… but please don’t call DCS.
4. Hose water is roughly the same temperature as glacial melt water. I could just fill the pool with ice cubes and get about the same reaction from my children as I dump cups of frigid “torture liquid” over their heads.
5. My childrens’ bums are so pale they actually glow.
They act as a sort of “beacon of shame” for any passers by who aren’t used to our family antics and might be jonesing for a reason to overreact. Again… please don’t call DCS.
6. Potty training. What does this have to do with bathing in a kiddy pool, you ask? Well… not IN the kiddy pool, per say, but when your daughter decides to bolt out of the pool so she can do her doody in the grass in front of God-n-everybody, then it has everything to do with bathing in the kiddy pool. Because when you are naked outside, apparently that means you are also free of even the most basic of social restraints… like dropping a dood in public… loudly… in the grass. In her defense, it looked incredibly satisfying.
7. Clean-up. You can’t just pull the plug like in the tub… you have to drain the whole freakin’ pool. Otherwise you will end up with what looks like crop circles in your carefully cultivated weed patch grass.
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